A Death Eater's Entertainment
by Malchior
Summary: What do people like Lucius Malfoy do all day? Plot and scheme? I think not.
1. Discovery of Fun

_**Disclaimer:** Anything related to Harry Potter(tm) is not mine, except for the plot._

**A/N:** Story is set in the summer before OotP

**Chapter One**

Discovery of Fun

In a dark manor, hidden from the world except to those of the proper beliefs and blood, an ominous figure glided down a deserted hallway. Completely silent, not even the sound of his bare feet on the hard, black wooden floor, one hand gripping the opposite wrist behind his back, this figure, tall and pale with blood red eyes and slits for a nose, walked with a sense of purpose and power. An aurora of absolute evil emanated from him. This dark figure just happened to be The Dark Lord Voldemort, born again a few short weeks ago.

Lord Voldemort strode through the halls of Malfoy Manor searching for his richest follower. Guided, by the tattoo known as the Dark Mark that all of his followers had, it was not a difficult matter even in a place as large as the Malfoy residence. Upon reaching the door, he noticed a curious flashing light coming through the crack underneath and strange sounds that he had never heard before.

Opening the door, Lord Voldemort was shocked. For there before him sat Lucius Malfoy, patriarch of one of the oldest and most steadfast pureblood families and staunch supporter of blood supremacy sitting on a couch.

In front of a muggle television.

Playing Super Mario Kart.

Next to the Malfoy patriarch sat his heir, Draco, also participating in the muggle form of entertainment.

Eyes wide, the Dark Lord Voldemort, Heir of Salazar Slytherin, most feared man in Wizarding Europe, leader of the most powerful Dark Army in recent history, stood with his jaw on the floor gapping at his servant and his son.

Quickly realizing what he was doing, Lord Voldemort regained his composure into the regal being he was before glaring at his servant. "Luciusss," he hissed, "What, exactly, do you think you're doing?"

"My-my Lord," Lucius stuttered, after springing forth from his seat, "I-I was testing out this device one of my m-muggle business contacts from Japan showed me when I was forced to meet with him."

"What, pray tell, is this… this _thing_?" Lord Voldemort said, spitting out the last word, to his stuttering servant.

"W-well, m-my Lord, this device, is called a t-television," Lucius said, as he quickly began regaining his composure. "It is a box that can show images from all over the world. It's similar to a painting except that it can actually show scenes from places across the world, as they are actually happening. It's used for many things: news; education; entertainment in the form of mooves, T.V. shows, cartools, and what I was using it for, playing games."

This muggle device can show images from anywhere in the world, as it happens?" asked the Dark Lord.

"Yes, my Lord," Lucius answered, "It needs another device called a T.V. camel that takes the image and sound, and sends it to the television."

"Hmm," the Dark Lord thought, "I will have to look into this. Now, what is this game you mentioned?"

"That is another device, I don't know how it works, but you take this plastic carter, I believe it's called, and plug it into this slot after hooking these wires into the T.V. and turn it on." the Malfoy patriarch explained, "Then, you use this controller, to play. Sit down, my Lord, and I'll show you."

OOOoooOOOooo

In Little Whinging, Surrey, there is a 4 bedroom house on the street Privet Drive with the number 4 on it. In the smallest bedroom of number 4, there lived a 14, not quite 15, year old boy named Harry Potter. Harry Potter is a delinquent, a vagabond and an all around unpleasant person. Or so his relatives say.

In reality, he is a wizard. As a wizard, he studies learns magic at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in Scotland. Currently however, he lives in the house at Surrey with his horrible relatives, Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon, and his cousin Dudley.

At the present moment, Harry Potter was diligently working on his homework for his potions Professor, Severus Snape. Suddenly, his scar burned with pain. His scar was unfortunately a link with Lord Voldemort, a link established on this night his parents were murdered. A link that allowed Harry Potter to see events as Voldemort saw them.

Harry Potter collapsed and was pulled through the link into yet another vision, Lord Voldemort was currently experiencing great joy.

oooOOOoooOOO

Harry sat on a couch in a dark room with a large telly in front of him and a controller for a game he was never allowed to play. Well, he was never allowed to play any game at all, but that's beside the point.

He was driving his character, Yoshi, as second player and was currently in the lead. Grinning like an idiot because he passed the other human player, Draco, by using a Lightning Bolt, he was almost to the finish line when the other players regained their size. Suddenly, a Red Shell flew from Draco and knocked him out of the lead, allowing for Draco to win the match.

Flying off the couch, he drew his wand and pointed at the telly. "_Reducto!_" Harry screamed and watched as the telly blew up in his face with a satisfied smile, before realizing that he couldn't play anymore. Turning to Draco, he yelled, "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!! CRUCIO!!" and watched Draco crumple to the floor.

After a minute of holding Draco under the Cruciatus, he released him when Lucius spoke. "My Lord, I have more T.V.s"

"What are you waiting for, Lucius, fix it," Harry ordered his loyal servant.

"Yes, my Lord," Lucius said as he left the room.

OOOoooOOOooo

Sometime later, Harry awoke from his vision, not feeling any pain in his scar for the first time.

"I can't believe he was playing Mario Kart," Harry said as he shook his head. Grinning, he decided to write a few letters.

_Dear Padfoot,_

_How have you been you dirty mutt? Life here has been the same as ever, and I've been worrying about Voldemort, until recently that is. I had a vision of him, but until I explain what it was, you have to do something for me. You will need Hermione's help. Buy a telly, and a Super Nintendo, along with a game called Super Mario Kart. Sit down with the Headmaster and, try it out a little._

_Love,_

_Harry_

_**A/N:** _So, what'd you think? I have the second chapter finished and if even one person likes this story, I'll continue. If not, oh well. If you like this story, thank Dene for helping me.


	2. Spread the Joy

_**Disclaimer:** Anything related to Harry Potter(tm) is not mine, except for the plot._

**A/N:** Story is set in the summer before OotP

**Chapter Two**

Spread the Joy

_Dear Tweedles Dee and Dum,_

_Remember that gift I gave you? I have another favor to ask. Buy a camera, and keep a hold of it for the next few days. You never know when something interesting might happen._

_Signed,_

_The Mad Potter_

oooOOOoooOOO

The Malfoy family has, throughout history, been respected for their elegance, grace, and aristocratic upbringing. Lucius Malfoy, as the patriarch of the Malfoy family, has always put a little more effort into his appearance than most other family members. If one were to look at him at this moment, one would not say he belonged to the Malfoy family.

Lucius and Draco Malfoy were currently sitting on a couch in front of a television screen, a gray piece of plastic with a black cord in their hands. Their hair, always so clean and styled to perfection, fell around their face in a dirty mass of stringy and ratty tendrils. Their skin, soft as the most luxurious silk with scents to make even the most beautiful of Veela compete for their attention, was dry, rough as sandpaper, and smelled like the filthiest of mudbloods.

Behind the couch, on the floor rolling around were to ladies. One an aristocratic woman with blonde hair in her late 30's or early 40's, the other, a 15 year old girl with a pug face and dark hair. The elder woman, Narcissa Malfoy, was currently on top of the younger girl, Pansy Parkinson.

"My husband will crush Draco!" Narcissa yelled as she pinned Pansy to the floor.

"As if, Grandma," Pansy replied, struggling, "My Draco will win, he always does." Pansy lifted her leg and kicked the elder woman in the back, knocking her off her perch. As Narcissa fell down, Pansy rolled on top and pinned the older woman.

"Who do you think he learned it from, Ms. Pug?" Narcissa responded, looking smug.

"Pfft, your husband taught Drackikkins SOME things, but this is where those with _true_ power and with your husbands age, he must be… lacking." Pansy sneered.

"You little trollop, you have no idea what you're talking about," Narcissa all but screamed.

"The young always win, as you can clearly see," Pansy said with a grin of victory.

Narcissa smirked before bucking and dislodging the young Pansy, "Age teaches wisdom and skills, something the young sorely lack."

Pansy backed up a few steps before she reached down and yanked on the small decorative rug the girls were fighting on. "That may be so," she said smirking at the fallen Malfoy, "But youth provides speed, power, and improvisation, something you old folks will never have."

"YOU IDIOT!" Lucius suddenly yelled, "YOU LET THE COMPUTER WIN!"

"I LET IT WIN? YOU HIT ME WITH THE RED SHELL WHEN I WAS WINNING!" Draco screamed.

"AND YOU DROPPED A BANANA PEEL JUST BEFORE I HIT YOU! Lucius continued yelling at his son.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" they both roared at the same time, "WOULD YOU BOTH SHUT UP!" they said to the still fighting girls, "STOP COPYING ME. COPYING YOU? YOU'RE COPYING ME! AHHH!" they screamed in frustration before they too were wrestling on the ground.

"Is it my turn yet?" Lord Voldemort said as he awoke from a nap on a couch in a corner of the room.

OOOoooOOOooo

Ginny lay asleep in her room when Hedwig flew in through the open window. She landed on Ginny and gently pecked the sleeping redhead until she awoke

"Hedwig?" she mumbled, "What are you doing here? Are you looking for Hermione?" she asked the snowy owl. Hedwig ruffled her feathers as if insulted she would make a mistake and held out her leg. Curious, Ginny removed the letter and found her name on it.

_Dear Ginny,_

_I've never really talked to you much before, but out of everyone I know, I thought you might appreciate this the most. I've decided to pull a prank on a few people. I know the Twins would find it hilarious, but I really don't think this is their style, I thought it might be more your department. I must apologize, you and the others may suffer a little._

_Remind me to change our talking situation next time we meet._

_Your friend,_

_Harry_

Ginny smiled as she read the letter and could only imagine whatever prank Harry would pull.

oooOOOoooOOO

Molly Weasley is known as the terror of the Weasley family. Her rage has been known to make even Albus Dumbledore cower in fear. Nothing stands in her way.

Molly Weasley was furious.

Sirius Black, escaped convict but innocent of all crimes and godfather to one Harry Potter sat with Albus Dumbledore, leader of the Order of the Phoenix, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and most powerful sorcerer in the world on a couch in the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black also known as Number 12 Grimmauld Place or Headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix. The afore mentioned men represented the opposite eyes of the social spectrum. Sirius: hated for murdering a dozen people with a single curse, being the right hand of Voldemort, and the first person to break out of Azkaban Wizarding Prison and Dumbledore: revered for being... well Dumbledore.

Both men, Saint and Sinner REEKED, of body odor and filth.

Molly was furious because despite all the yelling, screaming and threatening she did (backing up a few of those threats) both men refused to listen to her. They stayed glued to the couch and to a television screen ever since a letter from Harry arrived. Molly had tried to destroy the infernal device that had so enraptured the two men, but Dumbledore had put a shield around it which she had no hope of breaking through, so she decided to try another tactic. She was going to play with them, and when Dumbledore brought the shield down (something he never did when she was around) to turn off the machine when they ate, she was going to destroy it.

"That's it Sirius, my curiosity has finally peeked, what exactly is that?" Molly asked forcing a wondering tone into her voice.

"Honestly Molly? I don't know." Sirius replied, still watching the screen and pushing buttons on his controller, "Harry told me that the Headmaster and I had to try this before he told us what he dreamed about Voldemort," Sirius said completely ignoring Molly's shudder at the Dark Lord's name.

"I didn't know Harry told you to do this," Molly said truthfully, "Whatever this is, it can't be bad if that dear boy likes it. Can I try it?"

"After I'm done, Molly," Sirius said before leaving his mouth open and starring lovingly at the screen.

OOOoooOOOooo

A few days after Molly started her ingenious plan, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione could be found picking up trash, plates and doing all the chores Molly used to do a few days before in addition to their own.

"Honestly, what is wrong with adults today," Hermione huffed as she scrubbed the dishes, "Don't they have any sense of responsibility anymore? All this work is cutting into my O.W.L. revision"

"Of course they do, Hermione, some things just aren't meant for mortals," Arthur, father of the Wealseys reassured his son's best friend. 'Besides, if they like that little box, just wait until they discover the joys of plugs and batteries,' Arthur thought as he continued casting spells to learn what a rubber duck was for.

Ginny just smiled knowingly.

oooOOOoooOOO

Severus Snape was not a man easily amused. In his charms class, Professor Flitwick was shocked when his most powerful tickling charm had no effect on the dazzlingly handsome boy with soft and silky hair all the guys envied (at least in the boy's mind anyway).

Today, Severus was highly amused as he apparated to a small house on the outskirts of London while dressed in muggle clothes and walked down into the basement. He began taking books and sheets of paper out of a bag, setting up some cardboard screens and set a box with dice behind the screens. The potions professor was amused because the leaders of the war, both Dark and Light, were all incapacitated by some flashy lights from something called vodie games.

'The fools,' he thought to himself as more men began arriving, most wearing cloaks, 'they have no idea what true entertainment is.'

Severus Snape finished setting up his supplies, and turned with a small bag of clothes and headed into the bathroom to change. When the door opened, Torag Re'alnath, 15th level Archmage of the Lorian Kingdom and Dungeon Master of The Ancients Gaming Group had arrived.

'No idea at all,' Torag thought.


End file.
